


You Got A New Follower! Hooray!

by Ultimatefan



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fan Art, Good lord what have I done, Inspired By Tumblr, Rum being freaked out by social media, fan works, those freaking porn blogs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-21
Updated: 2016-12-21
Packaged: 2018-09-10 22:58:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8942902
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ultimatefan/pseuds/Ultimatefan
Summary: Rum gains some new followers on his Tumblr, but one ends up being a type of blog he would've never expected to be following him. What the bloody hell was he going to tell Belle?





	

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Friendships and Fandoms](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5053462) by [WorryinglyInnocent](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WorryinglyInnocent/pseuds/WorryinglyInnocent). 



> Also inspired by licieoic (of Tumblr)'s BEAUTIFUL Rumbelle inspired pieces of art and every Rumbelle fan-artist and fanfic writer out there!! Thank you all so much for putting yourselves out there and sharing your wonderful talents! MERRY FREAKING CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO YOU ALL! <3
> 
> Thought of this fic last week upon getting what feels like the MILLIONTH porn blog follower between my two blogs, and couldn't help but laugh at how absolutely ridiculous it was.
> 
> Enjoy the stupidity! lol

            It felt like _forever_ since the last time Rum had actually gotten to _relax_ on a weekend. Sitting in his pajamas in front of his laptop leisurely browsing the Internet (surprisingly, including Tumblr) with no time limits felt like one of the best luxuries _ever_. He’d been particularly busy with a film shooting that kept him away from Storybrooke for _weeks_ , but thankfully for him, he had the most wonderful wife in the world waiting for him. Speaking of which, Belle _Gold_ (ah, how he _never_ got tired of how that sounded in his head and on his tongue) was calling him down to breakfast. How lovely!  
  
            He told her he’d ‘be down in a minute’, before he scrolled down just a _little_ more on Tumblr. All of the sudden, his fingers came to a screeching halt as he came upon one of the most beautiful pictures he’d ever seen so far. It was clearly a drawing, but a _very_ good one at that. On top of which, it was a full-color picture of Lacey and Dr. Stiltskin, with Stiltskin holding Lacey up against a wall in a _very_ heated embrace. He could practically feel himself blushing as he soaked up every detail, in awe that this was merely a colored _drawing_ and not an actual photograph, almost feeling like he was spying on people having a very intimate moment.

 

            Their lips were _ever_ so slightly parted in a way that looked like they barely had the patience to ‘come up for air’ as it were, with the tiniest thread of saliva still connecting their kiss-swollen lips. Only one of Stiltskin’s inhuman eyes was visible and practically _glowing_ as it looked at Lacey’s lithe form, leading him to look more at her than him, and _oh_ Lacey’s face was gorgeous… A scarlet blush warmed her cheeks, and her eyes were half-lidded, clearly darkened with lust. Her hair was a bit disheveled, clearly tumbling down from a more ‘traditional’ up-do as it was pressed against the wall, with her bouncy curls being slightly illuminated by the very small amount of light coming from an unknown source in the room. She vigorously gripped the flowing hair on Stiltskin’s head with one hand, and was clearly reaching for his breeches with the other, frozen in time when she was _so_ tantalizingly close that even her index and middle fingers were extended a bit further than the rest, as if preparing to undo a belt buckle.  
  
            Both their clothes were wrinkled and equally disheveled, but he couldn’t help being drawn towards Stiltskin’s visible hand. Just like the rest of their bodies, it was phenomenally hyper-realistic (well, for it being the fictional _Dr. Stiltskin_ anyways), but he loved the incredible amount of attention given to how the fabric of Lacey’s dress bunched where his hand groped her breast through the fabric. It felt as if he could reach out through his computer screen and touch them, feeling the otherworldly fabrics as they shifted through his fingers, and the soft roundness of her breasts-  
  
            Belle called up to him again, sounding a bit frustrated with his lack of attendance now, slamming him back into reality. He groaned a bit, noticing he managed to make himself half hard looking at this picture already. As quickly as he could, he ‘liked’ the image, and reblogged it, being _absolutely_ sure to mark it ‘NSFW’ among the tags he quickly typed up. It definitely wasn’t _obscene_ necessarily, but, hell, if it could make _him_ half hard just by looking at it, he could barely imagine the possible consequences of _not_ labeling it as such.  
  
            He closed the laptop, _finally_ heading to the kitchen. Belle may have been calling him down for breakfast, but now he hungered for _much_ more than food could provide…  
  
  
  
_~3 hours later~_  
  
            It had been _quite_ the journey for Rum today, indulging in his wife everywhere from the kitchen counter, to the kitchen floor, the stairs and the shower, with them practically stumbling back into bed on wobbly legs at the end of it all, giggles abound before Belle drifted off for a nap. After all, the pancake syrup _had_ made quite the mess, and they certainly couldn’t go out in public with syrup all over their clothes and every inch of visible skin (and even some in their hair). Rum glanced down at his wife, smiling at her sleeping form, reveling in how lucky he was to have her.  
  
            As sleepy as he was, he didn’t want to miss a minute of _any_ of this, carefully sitting up as not to wake her, and pulling his laptop into his lap to keep him awake as he gently petted Belle’s head as she slept.  
  
            He opened Tumblr back up, anxious to find that picture he’d found again, primarily to give the artist some highly deserved praise, when he noticed he had gained some followers. He smiled to himself, actually rather curious as to who followed him and why, clicking the ‘followers’ button to find out. One was _definitely_ a Lacey x Stiltskin shipper, with a large portion of their blog featuring fanfiction and pictures galore of the pair, now including the beautiful picture he had reblogged earlier that day. He went to view the second person who had followed him, hovering over the username only to be greeted by _bouncing breasts_ in his face.  
  
            His eyes grew wide, practically slamming the laptop shut on instinct, making poor Belle start awake, almost falling off the bed with how fast she moved.  
  
            “W-what’s the matter? ‘You okay?” she half-mumbled before barely stifling a yawn.  
  
            “Umm… I suppose I am, I just…” he started.  
  
            How the _hell_ was he supposed to explain to Belle why a _porn blog_ was now following him?! The _only_ thing he’d never posted that could be considered ‘inappropriate’ was the picture he reblogged, and-  
  
            … _Oh._  
  
            “What were you looking at just now?” Belle asked curiously.  
  
            “N-nothing!” he stammered a bit nervously.  
  
            He tried _so_ hard to rack his brains, attempting to think of _some_ kind of excuse to tell her, praying to every deity that would listen that she wouldn’t believe he was some kind of dirty pervert. After all, Belle was the _only_ female he ever needed in his life “like that”; however, before he could come up with anything good, Belle managed to open the laptop back up, with the screen greeting them with the bouncing breasts once again.  
  
            Gold braced himself, hoping she wouldn’t be _too_ hard on him, but paused when he heard not scolding, but _laughter_ coming from the woman next to him.  
  
            “Did you get your first _porn blog_ following you?” she giggled.  
  
            “Umm… I…” he stammered, too shocked to remember about 95% of the English vocabulary he knew.  
  
            “You look like you’ve seen a _ghost_ , Rum! Really, it’s okay! It happens _all_ the time!” she continued.  
  
            …Wait. _Porn blogs_ randomly followed people on Tumblr? Just when he thought he had a relatively good understanding of the social media site, and then _this_ happened. He figured that considering it was, well, _the internet_ , porn blogs were bound to exist, but he imagined that you’d actually have to go _purposefully_ looking for them in order to find them rather than them just coming at you first (no pun intended). Shouldn’t Tumblr have some sort of regulation for this sort of thing? In fact, he asked Belle about exactly that, becoming a touch concerned about this issue.  
  
            “You’d _think_ they would, but they don’t.” she sighed. “It’s okay though, you can just block those blogs or something as you get them.” She said, moving the mouse to the ‘block’ button, making it disappear off his followers list.  
  
            “Are you telling me this could happen _again_?” he asked.  
  
            “Welcome to Tumblr!” she giggled, pressing a kiss on his cheek.  
  
            Thank _goodness_ he knew people who were more ‘skilled’ at this site than he was, or he’d surely be sunk.  
  
            Suddenly, out of practically nowhere, he heard one of their phones buzz. Turns out it was Belle’s, seeing that she reached for it, quickly swiping her finger all over the screen until she let out an adorable little laugh.  
  
            “What’s so funny, sweetheart?” he asked, leaning over _ever_ so slightly to maybe see what she found so amusing.  
  
            “Oh, Jefferson sent me a funny Snap! Wanna make one with me?” she asked him.  
  
            “He sent you… a… ‘ _snap_ ’?” he said.  
  
            He suddenly felt like one of those stereotypical ‘old geezers’ who would be seen telling kids to ‘get off his lawn’ or something as he tried to wrap his head around what in seven hells Belle could’ve just meant.  
  
            “You don’t know what _Snapchat_ is?! Oh, we are _so_ doing a snap now!” Belle giggled.  
  
            Lord only knew what he was now in for with Belle at the helm on what was clearly yet _another_ social media site or whatever it was that he hadn’t heard of. At this rate, he’d probably _never_ fully understand all these sites his wife introduced him to, but if his presence on them made her happy, he was sure to oblige.


End file.
